Let’s talk about sex, baby.

How is it that even the word “sex” alone feels so controversial to blog about?

Last month, Aaron and I celebrated our one year anniversary wahey! (No this post is not heading where you may think don’t worry…) and over dinner we spoke about being engaged and now married and what we’ve learnt and one thing we’re really passionate about is the big lie about sex. We decided as a couple to wait for marriage to have sex, and both of us found this to be probably the biggest challenge being engaged. This may sound quite normal, it usually is the hardest form of temptation for a couple so in love, but now on the other side of the vows, this really bugs us both. Why is it that something which is now so normal was such a HUGE thing before?

We’re both convinced it’s because there’s a lot of myths concerning sex floating around. So if you’re engaged, or dating and have decided on celibacy until marriage, I urge you with all my heart to believe me when I say, most of what you’re feeling is just that; feelings. So please read carefully as I reveal my little truths about sex.  Continue reading

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The idea that you have to argue to have a ‘real’ relationship…

…is a load of nonsense. Of course, no two people on earth are going to agree on everything, but the term ‘argument’ has some clear connotations:

Argument: an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one. Also known as a quarrel, disagreement, squabble, fight, dispute, clash, feud.

I’ve heard it said, a number of times that IMG_7557you can’t tell a relationship’s strength until you’ve “gone through stuff”, “argued”, “had a fight” etc etc, but from the beginning when we met, I really couldn’t see myself arguing with my now husband, Aaron. It wasn’t that I was completely blinded with love walking around with googly eyes (okay it probably was partly that), it’s just that neither of us had the nature to be aggressive and to be honest, neither of us could be bothered! We’ve been married almost 7 months now (wow!) and together for about 2 years (hey Aaron, we just missed our 2 year anniversary of getting together – 2nd March? hahaa!) & yes, unfortunately, we haven’t kept to that ‘we’ll never argue’ ideal, but, and I want to stress this, we have learned that it is possible to have a relationship without arguing and I totally believe that it was never God’s design that we raise our voices, storm out of the room or simply be rude to the person we love, (1 Corinthians 13) yes, maybe you are honest enough to voice your opinion without restraints, but that’s not love.  Continue reading

My must-have for organising time in relationships = Busy B Couples Calendar with Dual Schedules & Storage Pockets

Busy B1

 I discovered this beauty about 6 months before my husband and I got married and I seriously don’t know what we did before it. (I do actually know, we double booked on a lot of days and struggled to squeeze dates in together!)

As I’ve mentioned before, one thing that shocked me most about marriage is the amount of time you have together, so far we’ve had to purposely set aside evenings otherwise the days really do just blur and before you know it, you’re 50 with six kids. Just kidding.  But seriously, when I stumbled upon this couples calendar by Busy B, it really did help us organise our time. Continue reading

Why I didn’t marry my best friend…

I remember a time, years ago when I was referring to a guy as my best friend and my mum corrected me. She told me that I’m only going to have one best friend in my life and that will be my husband. For whatever reason, that struck me as quite profound and although I didn’t really take heed to what she said and continued to throw the word around with whichever guy I was closest with at the time, I distinctly remember that moment; even the exact place we were as we drove down the a406.

You see,  I grew up in a generation where it was cool to have a guy best friend, I was taught by films such as Love and Basketball that a perfect relationship was “based on friendship” and not just any kind of friendship; no no, you must be best friends.  Continue reading

What’s the point of this marriage anyway?

I’m overjoyed to have my husband back home, things have instantly gone back to ‘normal’, or the ‘normal’ I think I prefer and my mornings of waking up alone are temporarily over. So I’m a happy lady!

One thing I’d been pondering over whilst Aaron was away was the purpose of our marriage; it can sound somewhat pressuring, like “oh lets just enjoy being young and married!” or “we’ve only just gotten married, we have time”, but I am definitely the type of person who needs to know the why behind the what. 

Being married has shown me how drastically different and almost easy dating is, it requires little sacrifice, a temporary commitment (nobody needs to go to court to break up with their boyfriend!) and in many ways you still live very individual lives, as you should. This isn’t to sound all high and mighty now I’ve got the ring, looking down on all dating peasants and patronising their love lives, not at all, it just never dawned on me until recently how different it would be; and its made me ask this question over and over, what is the purpose of our marriage?! Continue reading

The worst thing about marriage.

Today my husband is leaving me. Again. Okay, maybe not so dramatically as that’s written but having a musician as a husband has its perks, but also can be tough on my little heart. 😣💔

Contrary to stereotypical beliefs, the amount of time my husband and I spend together varies like crazy. Last week he was home pretty much every evening and this week he’s been getting in at 11:30pm each night (I have to be up at 6:30 😴). So the worst thing about marriage, in my experience; time.
Living in London, life is so fast paced and crazy that making time for one another is hard enough without adding in the factor of clashing schedules. (Anyone who is married and works nightshifts comment below- how do you do it!?)
I know I’m not the first or last in my situation, but knowing other women deal with the same thing doesn’t make it much easier! Here’s a few things I’ve put together to keep myself sane to help anyone who might have to battle through a temporary LDR, or just who might be not getting as much time with their love as they’d like. Continue reading

Three things I’ve learned from 50 days of marriage.

Hello there! 

So 50 days ago I got married to the love of my life. Safe to say, I have no regrets, we are blissfully happy and every day I feel like I’m getting to know my husband, Aaron, in a deeper way. Nonetheless, I wanted to share three things I perhaps wouldn’t have thought important prior to marriage. Three things that our happy instagram photos wouldn’t tell you. Continue reading