The Truth Behind Motherhood.

Good evening people!

Much to my amazement, my baby girl is asleep, I’m sipping a cup of tea & actually feel confident that I can start and finish a post before being called back to duty. It really feels blissful. So it’s been almost 12 weeks since my life changed by Princess Ava entering the world and I honestly cannot tell you where the time has gone, I’ve read a ton of new mum blog posts and it’s my turn to dish the truth on how it’s been.IMG_1149

1. THE HEALING PROCESS. They say it takes around 6 weeks to start to feel better. You know those superwomen who are out and about days after labour, yeah, I thought I was one of those. HA. I remember walking around Romford with my tiny newborn and in agony at just standing. I really refused to rest and in hindsight I regret that, I was so eager to get back to ‘my old self’ that I often put myself through pain and soreness for the sake of a shopping trip. Note to self: next time, bedrest for a month minimum.

2. SLEEP. You know the whole, “you will never sleep again”, its not that bad. Avie tends to wake up every 3 hours, sometimes sooner, sometimes longer, and its never really bothered me. I do remember the days I would be excited for her to wake up because I missed her, I’m not so excited anymore but its incredible the way your body can adapt; 4 hours sleep in a row and I’m feeling like a champ.

*Baby started to wake up. Quickly diffused the situation*

3. I STILL FEEL THE SAME. This is probably the weirdest one. I really thought I would change, maybe mature? Maybe feel a lot more motherly? But I don’t. I love my baby with my whole heart but I’m not actually that obsessed, believe it or not. I don’t spend hours staring at her, in fact as soon as she’s asleep I jump up and get on with things, almost like its a total relief to get a few hours (if I’m lucky) just to be alone. I’m not scared to leave her and actually enjoy my little gym sessions and having the space. (No postnatal depression over here, of course I speed back to her if anyone so much as sends me a photo)

*Baby stirring again. This post may not happen*

4. NOTHING FITS. On the same note of gym, I’ve only just started going. Which means my clothes don’t fit. I have shed many a tear over this; especially when I want to dress up and look nice. Its also particularly frustrating, although lovely, when people tell you that you look great, and inside all you’re thinking is that you’re still 2 and a half stone over your ideal weight and yeah. It’s really annoying, not to mention my fitness level is atrocious. I was a little gym addict prior to getting married and now I can’t even do a burpee because they consistently become belly flops when I realise I can’t hold my weight. (Go on, picture that and have a giggle) Nonetheless I refuse to be someone who got ‘comfortable’ with the baby weight, so I’m sticking at it. I’ll 100% post a weightloss blog soon, seeing I’m already down 2 stone. 😉IMG_0924

5. I MISS MY HUSBAND. You know when people tell you to enjoy singleness before marriage? Well, if you’re married without children then seriously enjoy that because I REALLY miss alone time. It’s beyond delightful having a third musketeer in our little family and I adore family time, it makes my heart so happy! However, it’s really different not being able to be spontaneous, cinema is now the ultimate treat of a date night & we can’t help but laugh when we’re having a deep discussion and hear a little cry for attention next door haha! It would be nice not to be interrupted once in a while, but hey, this is the parent life. I’m fully aware the interruptions only get more frequent from here.

6. EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED. I really used to think when you had a baby, it’s just like an addition, y’know? “Yeah, I have a little girl called Ava.” ITS SO NOT LIKE THAT. YOUR BABY CHANGES YOUR WHOLE LIFE. This can be hard when you have friends who don’t get it, who expect you to just bring your baby along here and there. Who won’t be there for you in the middle of the night because your baby is overstimulated and won’t sleep and won’t stop crying because she’s not been able to nap because of Mummy’s social life! It changes everything. Routines, thoughts, plans, decisions. I probably wasn’t aware of that before, but I am 100% living in the reality of it now, and well, it’s just wonderful. I sort of love that I can leave my phone on silent and just spend time with my family, I feel way less pressured to reply to messages and keep up on social media because I’m just so content in my little bubble. It’s all a lot more chilled and I love it this way. So yeah, everything has changed. But that’s just life really? Just gotta keep adapting and go with it.

*Totally managed to write this and Ava is still asleep. Oh yes. Champion Mummy.*

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