My struggle with reading the Bible!

As far back as I can remember I have been told that daily Bible reading is so important toTopz a christian. I’ve heard it at home, in church, in sermons, in books, everywhere! And it’s always seemed like this ultimate task that when I achieve the discipline of being “in my Word” every day I will have the status of a Woman of God, Super-Christian, Prov 31 wife etc etc. Surely I’m not alone in this, scrolling through instragram, seeing Bibles next to breakfast and coffee, beautiful journals and a million people who are more spiritual than me.

The thing is, I’ve always found it difficult to maintain a Bible reading routine, other than when I was a kid reading Topz (Who remembers Topz!? I must google that and see if it’s still going…http://www.eden.co.uk/topz/ here we go! I am SO buying this when my baby is older). And until recently I’ve never really understood why.

Not too long ago, my husband and I were sitting down in the middle of the night discussing our spiritual walks (ha! now if that doesn’t make me sound holy I don’t know what will!) and I was saying I’m so frustrated at my lack of discipline. Is it my generation? Is it me? Is it that I don’t really have a desire for God? Am I even a Christian if I don’t read my Bible (yes, I am, thats another topic for another day)?  And this simple analogy suddenly entered my mind:

I’ve always been rubbish at taking tablets since it became my own responsibility. Seriously awful. Even antibiotics I would never manage to complete a course because I would skip days here and there. Medication I’ve been on for all different things I just never was able to remember, I tried it all, setting an alarm, taking them at the same time each day, but after a few days, I would just stop, very similar to my Bible reading days! Then when I found out I was pregnant, the doctor told me to start taking Pregnacare, vitamins to help with my baby’s development and growth. It was one of the first things I bought when I found out, and months later, I’ve been taking them without a doubt every day. Was it that I had suddenly matured and become disciplined? Not at all, it was that I understood the importance of taking these tablets, I wasn’t going to do anything to risk harm to my precious baby and it just seemed to click, it was on my mind more, I would have a mini panic if I thought I had missed a day and it wasn’t even like I needed an alarm to remember, I just naturally took them daily. So lets bring it back to the Bible, it’s not that I don’t think its important, not at all, but honest,  I have heard a lot of talk about ‘needing’ the Bible every day, it being your daily bread”, but it just had never really resonated with me, maybe I was better off all those days I had spoken up and spent time with God, but I’d never really noticed.

So what did I do? I got honest with God. I told Him I know that He’s given me His word, I know its amazing that I can read it so freely in this country and I know that it has the power to change situations and lives, but I know all that with my head, not my heart. I asked Him to begin to show me how much I need daily time with Him and how much it can transform me. I can’t say I’ve read every day since, but I’ve began to put in real effort, not in some religious attempt to stick to the christian rules, but more because I’m testing if this is true, (it obviously is true), I want to experience for myself how much better things are when I’ve got the Word of God in me, and so far, I’m seeing a change. I’m way more focused for starters, I’ve been reading loads about ‘bearing fruit’ and it’s made me question my life and how much I display the love of Jesus. It’s also prompted me to pray for my husband and baby regularly which I never did before. I’m sure in time I’ll see a whole load of other benefits too and one day maybe I’ll be doing it without a second thought just because life is better with the Bible. But until then, if you can relate to me, just be honest with God about it. It’s horrible trying to force a spiritual walk and then continuously “failing”, it’s really not meant to be like that. Even a verse a day is a good place to start, it takes about 2 minutes, maybe five if you properly engage your brain, but might just make your day completely different!

Jen x

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