Hello to anyone reading! It must mean I’m doing something right if people are reading my second blog 🙂
A little while ago, a friend introduced me to the concept of explaining a woman’s cycle in terms of seasons. It went something like this; Winter (around day 1-6): first day of your period, wanting to curl up in a ball, not do much, relax, basically live like its Winter; get it? Then comes Spring (around day 7-13); you begin to regain energy, get excited about new things and start to think more clearly again about life. Followed by Summer (around day 14-20); enjoying life around you, more communicable and social and more emotionally strong/confident.
And then, inevitably, every month, Autumn (around day 21-day 1) arrives. That emotional rollercoaster, ‘I’m so lonely’, ‘Everyone hates me’, ‘I cant be bothered to do anything’, discontent, argumentative, stressful, tearful, awful, angry Autumn.
Here’s a reaaaally good booklet on it, even if you don’t finish my blog, have a read of this: http://redmoonthebook.com/docs/Go-menstrual-MirandaGray.pdf
I hate Autumn. I have tried for ages to eliminate the horrific rollercoasters I face in those 10 days (my cycle is super long!) but getting married has only intensified the ride! I find myself crying most days, feeling exhausted and just ready to quit on everything I’ve worked for in those other 3 seasons. Its so horrible. A new emotion I’ve been feeling lately is anger. That sounds silly, like I’ve never been angry before, but I’ve honestly never experienced the depths of frustration before as I have this month. It’s like every little thing sends me into fist clenching, heavy breathing rage, and I am SO not an angry person, I’m as feeble as a butterfly, seriously. But thankfully I’m finding little coping mechanisms. I will feel it bubbling up inside and literally run to my bed, curl up and wait until it passes. The first few times I did this, it reminded me of being on my honeymoon cruise. One night, we were caught in a bit of a storm, the whole ship was rocking like crazy, I felt super sea-sick and all I could do is lie there and wait for it to pass.
So these emotions are literally like the storms of life, and I’m learning to curl up and ride them out. (I must look like a bit of a weirdo, I know!) Another thing that helps – I recognise that I’m in Autumn. I’m honest enough with myself (and my husband if I’m feeling very honest) enough to admit that most of the thoughts in my mind aren’t real, and even the emotions I’m feeling are simply a result of the crazy activity going on inside biologically. I also try to pray (although its often a really dramatic cry for help like WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL) and ask God to help me filter whats real and whats not, and to identify what the root of the issue is if I’m upset. The other day I tried this when I was feeling angry with Aaron and I promise you the response I heard was ‘you’re just tired’. That was a humbling apology I had to give.
So, thankfully I’m learning. I have a great app called Period Diary which is really useful in helping me figure out where in the month I’m up to. Trust me, its the most relieving feeling to think your whole world is about to end and then realising no, it’s okay, I’m just in Autumn. Its also really helpful for the men in your life, I really don’t know how they do it. I tell Aaron, it’s like having four different wives, at least it won’t get boring. 🙂
Hope you’re all well. Any tips on hormonal anger management is welcomed as I continue my battle through these Autumn days.